drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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