Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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