the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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