It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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