Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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