it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
