my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
