wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
