What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
