It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
