We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
