I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
