Fuck appropriateness.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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