idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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