I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
