She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
