my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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