i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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