You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
