Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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