Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
