Have you finally orgasmed yet?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
