only you would photoshop your dick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize