I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize