i wish peter jackson would direct porn
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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