At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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