I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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