I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
