Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
