I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize