Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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