i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize