If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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