I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
