The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
