He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
