He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
