The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
