im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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