Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
