so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
