She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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