ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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