i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize