Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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