Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
