dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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