PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
