how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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