Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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