found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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