And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
