i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I will pee on everything he values.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
