If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
