Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize