i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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