Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
