You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
