I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
