sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
