when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
