There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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