I want to make a zoo with you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
