So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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