guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i came on her dog
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
