You work out of a Hotel?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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